open letter.

It pains me! It really pains me. I don't know if you read anything I write anymore. We both need this, we were getting into each other's way. I hate this feeling though. On some levels it's the most logical thing and through the mirror I call a heart it seems like the dumbest thing I've ever done. My plan is not to think about it, not much of a plan but I can't sleep anymore, I don't want to think anymore. I just want this to stop or begin. I want to get going somewhere and start walking fast and then get really dizzy and walk so fast that I accidentally walk into you. Everything will go flying, you won't help me pick anything up but you will smile while watching me frantically gather all my goods before you get a chance to glimpse at what has been taking up my life. I miss dancing the most, I don't want anyone else to spin me. I guess I just won't dance for a while or I'll just spin on my own. I'm thinking of you, but I'm also thinking of not thinking of you. I'm not confused. Just still in love and trying to move on at the same time. We can't look back at this point though. This is beginning to sound like a tragedy that just simply becomes banal nothingness in some time. But deep down inside I hope it's the beginning of a romance that will outlast time and distance. A lot of hope is dimming.